There was a period in time when I decided to be someone else or maybe there were several periods where I concealed my identity with anger, make-up, smiles, glittery jewels, business suits, loving others more than myself and trying way too hard to please way to many people. As I write these words I am literally having a flashback to the days before I married my now ex-husband. Who was I to love him more than I loved myself? Who was I to allow him to project his thoughts and feelings on me? Who was I to try and get him to love me for me? Why did I work so hard to please him?
Honestly, I was an insecure, easily guided and certainly misguided young woman who lacked confidence and an understanding of self. As I walked outside today, I learned that the more I learn the more I realize I still have so much to learn. Why rush growing up when really in essence you are growing up all your life. Why try to fall in love when love is always in the atmosphere waiting to infect a heart or two. Why be so eager to solve someone else’s issues when you have yet to grasp your own?